I FRIGGIN DID IT!!!!!!!

This is what awaited me on the scales this morning. I DID IT! 30.5 official Kilo's and 18 months later, I have FINALLY reached my goal weight!

Where I will go from here, I really don't know, but for the moment, I am happy and content. Gee it feels good!

Feeling a bit frustrated

It's not friday, and apart from 3 small lollies yesterday afternoon, my diet and exercise have been spot on this week. I can't however, seem to get back to my 60.6 kgs that I was last week. I am today sitting at 60.7, but well it's now friday, and we all knows what happens on the weekend.

I guess I'm just bummed and feeling like a failure, and that i'm never going to get there. 60.6 is that magical mark where I go from being 'overweight' to 'normal' and I just can't seem to crack it again. I feel so close to my goal, but so far away as well.

Yes i'm still not feeling great, and i'm on about a thousand different types of medication to try and kick this, but surely that's not whats holding on to everything.

Gahhhhh anyway, end rant. Lets get on with this............

So it's been a while..........

And I don't even know where to begin....

My last weigh in was 62.3. I am Currently sitting at 61.3. During this past week, I went down to 60.6, which is the lowest I have ever been.

I've spent the last month with a massive head cold, which I am struggling to shake. I have finally made a doctors appointment for today, in the hope that maybe he can do something cause the cold and flu tablets just aren't doing anything. I haven't been to the gym in god-knows how many weeks cause I am struggling to breathe at the best of times, and my energy levels are ZERO. I did go once, and I was out of action for 2 days after that, so no more until I am feeling better.

Last week I started watching what I eat and calorie counting again, as well as doing half an hour on the bike of a night time while watching big brother. It seemed to work dropping from 62.1 to 60.6 in a week, however slacking off over the weekend saw me gain some. It is however just retention and not actual weight so I'm not too concerned.

My goal is still to get to 60kgs, and while i still think I'm a few weeks away from actually getting to it, I'm determined I'm going to do it. I'm wearing size 10 the majority of the time, and it feels fantastic, though I still think I could do with losing some more. I'm sticking with 60 in the meantime, and will reassess when the time comes. The excess flabby skin majorly disheartens me, but i can hide it at least now. It's part of who I am and how I got here.

Don't really think there is too much more to tell, it's been pretty quiet on this front. Will try to post a little bit more regularly......

Week 74 (23) - Weigh In

Last fortnight - 62.5 Kgs
This fortnight - 62.3 Kgs
Loss - 200 grams

Well it's now past my birthday and as expected I didn't get to my goal. Yep I'm a little disappointed, but I'm still proud of how far i have actually come in under 18 months.
Mum kept snapping photos of me at my party on the weekend, and I was actually happy to be in them for a change, instead of removing myself from them like i used to. AND I even liked some of them! That's HUGE for me!

I'm not actually doing anything at all to lose weight at the moment. I still kinda watch what I eat, and don't go overboard, but i'm not exercising and I'm not counting calories. It's the school holidays, and we've been away every weekend, so it's just not going to happen how i want it to, so instead of working myself up about it all, i'm just letting it happen.

I ended up getting down to 61.3kgs during last week, which is the closest I have ever come to my goal weight. Maybe over the coming months, I'll gt there, but i'm not stressing over it at the moment.

week 72 (21) - Weigh In

Last week - 61.9 Kgs
This Week - 62.5 Kgs
Gain - 600 grams

Not at all surprised, but I don't mind either. I went away for the weekend, had a great time, and I know this weight is just retention, not actual weight weight.

Saturday saw me finally get down to 61.5 kgs, though it was on my mothers scales, so i'm not entirely sure how much they differ from my scales at home. Either way I finally cracked through that 61.9 mark this week.

Week 71 (20) - Weigh in

Last week - 62.7 Kgs
This Week - 61.9 Kgs
Loss - 800 grams

I finally broke that 62 barrier in my weekly weigh in! I've done it numerous times in my daily weigh in, but it never follows through to the weekend! We even had family down, and went out to dinner. I have been sick this week though, but I still ate as per normal, and didn't exercise at the end of the week, so I think i've done pretty well to get there.

I'm away this weekend, which always leads to disaster, but i'm hoping at some stage this week i'll see those scales move below 61.9 for the first time. I've always got to that figure, but can't get any lower. Keeping my fingers crossed.

Lachlan has sports day at school tomorrow, so I don't think i'm going to get to the gym like I had originally planned. Will endeavour to get on my bike instead though.

Not much else to really report this week! How boring am I?!

Week 70 - (19) Weigh In

Last week - 63.7 Kgs
This Week - 62.7 Kgs
Loss 1 Kgs

Not as good as i had anticipated, but i guess it's not a gain. I'm REALLY struggling. I've got so much emotional crap going on at the moment, so all i want to do is eat.

The gym is frustrating me. I go and do the nautilus circuit, which involves a whole heap of weight machines, set out in a circuit, that are numbered and timed. EVERY. SINGLE. TIME i go there, no matter what time, there is ALWAYS someone there not doing it. They will sit on the one machine for nearly the entire time i am there, which means that I can't do my workout properly. Yesterday when I went, it was a whole BUNCH of ladies, just sitting on the machine's having a chat. No working out done, just fucking chatting.GRRRRRR can you tell i'm furious? I got half way through the circuit yesterday before having to leave because i couldn't do anymore.

Still really struggling with the thought that i am not going to make my goal before my birthday. It really really sux, and in the end i'm sure i self sabbotage because of it. "Well i'm not going to make it anyway so i'll just eat this." I KNOW i can do this, i just need to get these bullshit thoughts out of my head.

Week 69 (18) - Weigh In

Last week - 63.5 Kgs
This Week - 63.7 Kgs
Gain - 200 grams

Not nearly as bad as I had anticipated, having been away again and a birthday weekend. It's been such a full on month and I have no idea whether I am coming or going.

I'm pretty devastated that it doesn't look like I'll reach my goal by my birthday, but shit, I've lost nearly 30 kilo's I should be bloody proud of that.

I didn't get to the gym this morning like I had hoped I would be able to do because a friend came and picked up some camera gear to borrow, but I'm going to do my best to get on my bike for 30. It's been too long and I'm really struggling with it. I have plans to go to the gym on Wednesday, and I sure hope i can make it. At this stage I have nothing on, but that changes so quickly at the moment!

Struggling with food at the moment too, being away and birthdays have really thrown a spanner in the works. I have recorded everything in my planner today, and I'm doing well, but i suspect after all the excess sugar from over the weekend, I'm going to have a massive low in the afternoon and need a little pick me up. I have quite a few calories left in reserve though, so i won't go over my 1200.

Need to go and do some food shopping to get me through the rest of this fortnight, and there will be a dinner out involved for Lachlan's birthday dinner as we were traveling on the night of his actual birthday. I'm planning a quiet weekend at home, well week actually, with not much on at all. I need a holiday!

Week 68 (17) - Weigh in

Last time - 64.9 Kgs
This week - 63.5 Kgs
Loss - 1.4 Kgs

I don't know where to ever start this post. Since last weighing in on here 3 weeks ago so much has happened. First of all, I dropped all that weight that I had gained, getting down to 61.9kgs. THEN, Darren ended up in hospital with his Gall bladder again. Little did I know at that stage though, that this time it was going to be the end of it. He was emergency operated on that afternoon. I was terrified. I'm still not entirely sure why they decided to operate then and there but it's happened.

They were a little concerned during the operation that he may have had a gall stone left in his bile duct, as there appeared to be contrast pooling there when they did the xray during surgery. They said that they would know within 24 hours as he would be in huge amounts of pain. They came and saw me at about 5.15 in the afternoon and told me this, and that the surgery had appeared to have gone well. He should be back on the ward in 30-45 mins. an hour later he still hadn't arrived, but the nurses at the desk said he shouldn't be too far away. AN HOUR after that again, he still wasn't there and that's when we started to worry. The nurses called down to recovery, where they then informed me that the doctor was coming up to get me there had been complications.

I FREAKED OUT. He said they were waiting on an ambulance to take him to another hospital to perform an MRI to check if there was a stone, as he was in HUUUUGE amounts of pain. If there was a stone he would immediately be going back into surgery, and they couldn't tell me whether he would be coming back to the first hospital or not. It was also at this stage that they didn't think I would be able to go with him. DEVASTATING! In the end I was allowed to go with him, and it turns out he didn't have a gall stone, they think it was just from the trauma they had caused while trying to check if he did or not. He was so drugged up that I will never forget the looks he was giving me. The pupils in his eyes were like a pin-hole and it looked like his eyes were pointy and they kept shaking everytime he looked at me. FREAKY.

He was excited that he got to ride in an ambulance and even talked them into turning their lights and siren on for him. ROFL. He came out of hospital 2 days later, and today has been the first day he has gone back to work.

We've had a rough couple of weeks, and it's meant that my nutrition AND exercise have completely gone out of the window, and it's not over yet. We are heading back to gympie again this weekend for a photoshoot and to spend some time with my bestie, which means no control over the food again.

My birthday is in just over 4 weeks, and I was REALLY hoping to be at my goal weight by then. I guess i had better get back to it next week. I'm currently sitting at 62.6. At the moment goal seems impossible :(

Sure glad I took those measurements.....

The title says it all. Despite working my butt off at the gym over the last month (last week excluded), my weight has not budged, in fact it's gone up. When I started at the gym, I started taking measurements again, just to check and see how it's going. I'm bloody glad that I did now. 2 weeks ago, I was at my lowest weight, 62.6ish and did my measurements then. Since then i've had my week off, the scales went up and have only been coming down so very very slowly. (back down to 63.2 this morning) my measurements however, have been decreasing. Not particularly on my thighs or arms, but definitely on my torso section (boobs, waist and hips) I will have to put together a new chart. I started taking the measurements in slightly different places compared to last time, which is why the numbers may be a little bit different.

I will aim to redo them on Monday, and post them up with my weekly weigh in.

Week 65 (14) - Weigh In

Last week - 63.1 Kgs
This Week - 64.7 Kgs
GAIN 1.6Kgs

This really isn't as bad as it looks. Yes I took a week off from everything, but there is no way that I ate enough calories to put on 1.6kgs. I do believe I can contribute most of this to alcohol consumption. My body holds on to any skerrick of ANYTHING even after one lousy drink, let alone several. We had a great night out though, and even with all the travelling, a lovely week. I am very much looking forward to a week and weekend at home doing a whole lot of nothing though!

As of today i've lost 800 grams of that 1.6kgs, I'm hoping that by weigh in next week, i will have lost all of it. I only went to the gym once last week, and I kind of missed it. It was great having a down week, I think I needed it, but it was so good to get back into the gym yesterday. Speaking of which, I DID MY FIRST EVER CLASS!!!! Body PUMP! I didn't actually hold out hope that I would get through it all as i'm still pretty unfit, but I did! I was getting pretty shaky towards the end, but I still finished it. I wasn't planning on going to it, but i saw a friend in the carpark and while we were putting the kids in creche, she said, come on lets do pump, so off we went.

How did I pull up? I'm struggling to move ROFL. My legs are so so sooooo sore from doing lunges and squats (and apparently I do lunges wrong so I need to find out the right way to do them). I'm a little tender in the arms and shoulders, but they aren't nearly as sore as I thought they might be. I also feel like I have got a bruise on the base of my neck, from where the bar was sitting across my shoulders. It's sore normally at the best of times, but it's pretty bloody painful today.

Weill I go to pump again, yep pretty sure I will, and I'm even considering trying different classes. I struggled a little bit with my dodgy knees, but they held up much better than I thought they would. I burnt 385 calories in 55 minutes, but i forgot to turn my watch on at the start so it would have been a bit more. I finished the day off with an hour bike ride during loser, burning another 430 calories.

Here's to a good week of great eating and exercise.

Week 64 (13) - Weigh in

Last Week: 63.2Kgs
This Week: 63.1Kgs
Loss 100 grams

I've been putting writing this off because it's got me really bummed out. I worked my arse off last week, and ended up with a 100 gram loss. I don't know whether I maybe put my body into shock by burning too much, or I'm building muscle from going to the gym, but I'm kinda not impressed.

I did my measurements again, and yes i have lost cms, but not losing the kgs really bums me out. I was so close to my goal, and it's just not moving anywhere, and it's disappointing.

I've taken a step back this week, and haven't been counting calories every day. It's been a huge week, with lots of traveling and emotions (Our first ANZAC day after losing Ashley) and it's not over yet. Tonight we are heading back up to Gympie for a friends 30th, so to be honest I can't even think about counting calories when i don't know what food is going to be available.

Come Monday however, I'm back in the gym, and back into calorie counting, and I'll get these kilo's off me if it kills me. I'm prepared for a gain this week, and i'm hoping that shocking my body again is going to be enough to get the ball rolling again.

Maybe my goal this week was achieveable!

Weighed in this morning at 62.6. I had my goal for this week down to be 62.5 and didn't think I would get there. I don't know what My official goal at the end of the week will be seeing as though the weight usually fluctuates on the weekend, but i'm now optimistic that at some stage over the week to come, my weight will hit that 62.5 mark and hopefully even lower.

Kind of not expecting a loss tomorrow, as I've had 2 days of really good losses (1.2kgs) and it's a low exercise day today with no gym, and probably only 30 mins on the bike. I did my longest session ever on the bile last night, 70 minutes and burnt 550 calories. Added to my session at the gym burning 467 calories in an hour, my total was over 1000 calories officially burnt through exercise for the day. That's a massive first for me, and it felt awesome. It may become a weekly thing, but definitely not a daily thing.

Week 63 (12) - Weigh In

Last Week - 64.5 Kgs
This Week - 63.2 Kgs
Loss - 1.3 Kgs

So close I can smell it!!! On Sunday night I didn't actually expect that I would have lost that much this week. I had retained over the weekend, and thought that because of it I would be up today. I never expected to gain weight this week, but I didn't expect to lose that much either, I was thinking maybe 500 grams if i was lucky, as it WAS the weekend and i always go up over the weekend.

Not really sure what to expect this week to be honest. I'd love to get to 62.5 but I don't think that's going to be possible. I'm aiming for 3 days at the gym, Monday (done), Wednesday and Friday, as well as my bike rides during loser.

I have no idea what i'm going to do when that show finishes in a few weeks. It's been such a big motivation for me for the last 2 years it's been on and generally when it finishes they have masterchef, which unfortunately, doesn't do much in the making me want to exercise department. Quite the opposite actually, it makes me want to eat. I'm sure i'll find something I can watch while i exercise. Maybe i'll download some of the US seasons or something.

My 'baby' girl did so well at the gym this morning. It was her first time going anywhere by herself without mummy or some other adult that she knows really well. I thought there would be a few tears, which would have broken my heart, but she was a trooper. We took her in, got her settled doing some colouring in, and then I said i'd be back soon and left. She didn't even bat an eyelid.

I ducked into the loo before starting, and then headed down to the cardio room, which involved walking past the creche. She was sitting down with her doll drawing without a worry in the world. I did my 15 minutes on the cross trainer, then headed back up to the nautilus circuit, walking past the room again. She was still at the table, though she had moved, and was standing fairly close to a couple of other girls. Not interacting with them, but she was watching and listening to what they were saying, which is pretty big for her. Normally she would shy away from other kids and just sit any be by herself. When I was finished she was back to drawing. She'd seen the real baby 'Rhys' in her travels so all was good with the world. So proud of my little munchkin. She's growing up :(

Time to go and do some housework and organise some lunch :)

Easter weight gain update

After a not-so-great gain over Easter, Today I can officially say that I've lost it all, and then some. Down to 63.5 this morning. I did 2 sessions at the gym this week, and actually pulled up much better today than I do normally. I often get really shaky afterwards, guessing it's lack of muscle strength. I feel like jelly! It's not a food shake though thank god. I have quite a stiff back and neck today though, I must have slept stupid, when I did actually get some sleep that is.

It's the last day of school holidays today (apart from the weekend) and I think i'm going to miss it. No stressing out of a morning, no homework of an afternoon, it's been bloody lovely. The kids have been really good too, which has been awesome.

I think Madi's in for a shock next week, not having them here, and having to go to the gym on her own. I don't think she is going to cope real well with that at all, but she is going to have to get used to it. She's off to big school next year, so being away from mummy at times will do her wonders.

Week 62 (11) - Weigh In

Last week - 64.2 Kgs
This Week - 64.5 Kgs
Gain - 300 grams

Easter........... Need I say more? Eating hasn't been great for me, and my weigh in today was even worse than yesterday's. I'm girly AGAIN, hormonal and have just been totally undisciplined in the eating department. We went out camping last Thursday night so we could spend the night with Mum and Dad, and i've just had the rest of the weekend off, enjoying my little family and doing what I want. I'm sure a lot of this extra weight is just fluid, but i have no doubt there will probably be a little gain in there, but i can deal with that.

I got down to 63.7 kgs last week, and am now back up to 64.9 so i have a bit of work to do this week. I'm hoping to hit the gym today, but need to find some coinage laying around to put the kids in creche.

I pulled up fairly ok after my first gym session. The next morning i was relatively pain free, just a little tender through the chest and shoulders. That evening however, I was really quite sore, and that continued into the next day. I went back to the gym the day after that, which actually ended up stopping the chest/shoulder pains, so that was awesome. My legs didn't pull up so great after that session though, and on Thursday I could barely walk. I think it was the stair master that did it. 5 minutes on that thing and I was ready to die lol. Burnt 500+ calories in 58 minutes at the gym so I was pretty happy with that.

Waiting for the wreckers to call me back about a new door handle for my car, and then i'll think about heading to the gym. I'd really love to be getting dressed and heading there now while I still have the motivation, but I need to wait for this call.

I think my mother was very surprised with my additional weightloss when she saw me on Thursday afternoon. She called me 'The incredible shrinking Mummy" and asked how much weight i'd lost now. It's a very good feeling when someone else notices all the hard work that you put in. Now just to get back into it and lose these last 5 kilo's.

Gym session #1

I did it. Only nearly felt like crying once. I'm so brave lol. Yep, I was the biggest person in the room, and the weakest person known to man, but I'll get there. My upper body strength is non-existent I've discovered, especially when it comes to pushing things upwards.

We started off with 15 minutes cardio. I hoped on the eliptical and went to work. I then attempted to do the stair master, but got about a minute into that before Whit had decided he was finished and expected us to move on with him. So not impressed with that.

Nest stop was the Nautilus Circuit room. Apparently some of these machines aren't made for short nor weak people. I struggled with a few of them, the ones that involved pushing the bar up above your head, and the dumbell curl type one. I was too short for that one and just couldn't work it. Next time I go, I should be alone and not getting rushed through it, well I hope anyway, so i'll check out the women's weight room and see what it's got. I really wanted to have a go on the rowing machine's but that didn't happen either.

We then headed upstairs to the free weights kind of area, the boys wanted to do a couple of calf raises and that's where the machines were. Boy did I feel totally out of place up there. There were even some old birds up there totally smashing it out. I did a set of 30kg calf raises and then managed to bust out 2x 65kg one's, which officially weighed more than me.

Madi didn't cope great in the creche, she said she missed me and wasn't going back. Got news for her and unfortunately it's all bad. It's going to be worse when she doesn't have the boys there with her!

Soreness levels aren't actually too bad this morning. Not as bad as I was expecting. If i move certain ways I can feel it, but it's bearable. Total calorie burn was 444 for 1 hour.

I ended up coming home and getting a massive case of the guilts when watching the Biggest Loser, so got back on my bike and did another 25 minutes, burning another 214 calories

Week 61 (10) - Weigh in

Last week - 64.5 Kgs
This week - 64.2 Kgs
Loss - 300g

I'm kind of surprised that I lost anything this week. As I said in the last post, I've been sick all week, and until last night hadn't even CONSIDERED doing any exercise. I've learnt from my mistakes in the past, that i need to rest my body when I'm sick other wise the sickness is going to hang around longer and hit me harder. I ate sensibly most of the time though, which i guess is what has made me drop weight, instead of going up or staying the same.

Tonight is going to be my first trip to the gym, and to be honest, i'm crapping my pants. Darren and Whit will both be coming with me, and the kids going into the creche, but i've put this off for sooooo long due to image issues, and they are STILL haunting me.

I'm also scared about the fact that I'm going to get there, and hate it, due to these issues, and then want to quit. I've just signed up for a 12 month membership, so quitting is just going to have to be not an option. We are starting in the "nautilus" circuit room and probably some cardio as well. Weights are not my friend, but I really need to work on my upper body and core strength.

I'm not liking the thought of sore muscles, and I know i'm going to get absolutely hammered. Bring on a week of torture. xoxo

PS. I really should do some measurements before i start on this new part of my journey. I know that my weight isn't always going to go down as i increase muscle, so i'd hope that the measurements do.

BLAH!

Yep, that just about sums up how i'm feeling at the moment. I feel really really crappy, thanks to gorgeous children sharing their germs. I've decided to lay off the exercise while i'm feeling yuck, because last time I tried to battle through it I was sick for a lot longer. I have a photoshoot to do tomorrow, and I really can't afford to be off my feet and cancel it. I'm feeling much better today than I was yesterday afternoon, but I have gone and purchased some cold and flu tablets just to knock it on it's head. Hopefully with the help of them and "vicks" when I go to bed, I'll be all good in no time.

Last night, we finally joined the Gym. Like all three of us. Darren and whit have been going to a different one for about 8 months now, but they just couldn't do what they wanted with it being so small. So we joined a bigger gym, with much better facilities, and I joined with them.

I'm kinda nervous, no actually terrified of going. Of being the fat girl that can't keep up with any of the classes. Ahhhhh. I'm sure i'll get over it eventually. Now just to feel better so that I can actually go.

Pretty sure there isn't going to be any weightloss this week, and i'm ok with that. Need to kick this bug and get back to being 100%.

Week 60 (9) - Weigh In

Last Week - 65 Kgs
This Week - 64.5 Kgs
Loss - 500 Grams

I guess this result was much better than i expected. I kind of had a shitty weekend with food choices, so wasn't expecting a loss at all, possibly a gain.

On Friday night our oven decided to crap itself. I immediately went into panic mode. How on earth was I going to cope without an oven. Everything i cook now is baked! Never mind the fact that I went without an oven for pretty much 8 years before I moved into this house. I guess I put on a lot of my weight in that time due to the way i cooked, and what i cooked played a huge part in my panic. The real estate have been called however, and she is trying to get someone around here today to look at it. Hopefully it will just be the element, and an easy fix. I don't know how long i can go without it!

I really need to get back on track with our menu plan. I haven't been doing one since Darren has had his gall stones, but it is costing me a lot more money, and i HATE the dreaded what am i going to cook for dinner every night feeling. My aim over the next 2 days is to sit down and work out a new menu plan, and enter it into the computer so it runs as smoothly as it used to.

Exercise. I'm still doing at least my 30 on the bike every day Loser is on. It's just started on a Sunday again, which I think is a good thing, and i'm going to be riding for the whole of that episode, so an hour. It gives me a much better feeling heading into the week. Friday night's episode isn't airing any more, but i'm sure that I could do some time on the cross trainer or something on friday's instead. or just have it as one of my days off. Meh I'll take it as I come.

I'm feeling bloody exhausted this morning. I didn't have a great night, so my motivation isn't real high. I'm hoping that by getting up soon and getting my house organised after the weekend, will give me some much needed energy.

My aim for this week is to get to 64kgs. Lets do it.

Week 59 (8) - Weigh In and progress Photos

Last week - 66.4 Kgs
This week - 65.0 Kgs
Loss 1.4kgs

YAY! For once no gaining weight on the weekend! AND I've officially lost 25kgs according to me weekly weigh in's. 25.5 to be exact!

I've once again reached my goal for the Million Kilo Challenge so have shifted it down to 63kgs. I'm pretty sure I'm not going to actually reach that one seeing as though there is only a couple of weeks left but hey, I've already broken through 2 goals, so I'm bloody happy with that!

As of today, I've got 5kgs to lose before I reach my "major" goal of 60kgs. They reckon the last 5 kgs are difficult to shift, so we'll see. Honestly, I don't think it's going to be too much of an issue, because I could really still lose another 15kgs and still be in the healthy weight range which is 48-61kgs for my height. 4kgs to go before I am officially in the 'Healthy" weight range. BRING IT ON!

I finally caved and took some more photos today. Yes I still hate doing it, but it really is motivating to see myself shrink. Not really a HUGE difference, especially considering there is so long between pictures, but I did stop for 6 months and it IS shrinking. Just wish that apron would go away, but unfortunately I don't think that is going to happen ever. I am beginning to wonder whether my shape is actually going to change, or whether i'm stuck like this forever. Yes it's all smaller, but honestly the shape of me is the same as it was when i started, just a smaller version of it. Sometime the love handles have to go away right? Fingers crossed they do anyway!

Week 58 (7) Weigh In

Last Week - 67.7 Kgs
This Week - 66.4 Kgs
Loss - 1.3Kgs

As suspected my weekend away a couple of weekends ago wreaked havoc with my body and I ended up going up to 67.7 kgs. It was retention though, and by the next day I was back down again. Same has happened this weekend though, but as of today i'm down again.

Speaking of which, Today (13th March 2012) I have FINALLY officially hit 25 kgs gone!!!! I rocked the scale at 65.5 kgs this morning. Seems like my hard work over the last 7 weeks is actually paying off. You know what's even better? I only have 5.5kgs till my goal weight, and less than 10kgs to go if i want to catch up to my mother. That's pretty exciting!

In other news, I decided to watch "Embarrassing FAT Bodies" on TV last night, and think i have terrified myself silly! I've always been worried about the whole excess skin thing, but actually seeing it last night. Holy wow. Just hope mine isn't going to be that bad. Scary stuff!

Possible Answers to the grumpiness yesterday....

As you read yesterday I was pretty feral. I was frustrated and boy did I show my crankiness. I couldn't control my mood, I KNEW I was in a bad mood, but nothing I could do would get me out of it.

Wake up this morning and to do my normal wee/weigh routine and BAM hello girlfriends. I was very surprised, as I don't normally get AF, but with the stresses over the last few months, she's turned up a few times unannounced. Not cool, but it would kinda explain my moods and the stall on the weight.

I'm now sitting at 66.5kgs (500g overnight) so i'm feeling much better about things. I know there is still going to be a gain this week, but I also know that those scales do move down beyond 67kgs now!

just grumbling

Having a grumble day today. I've worked my butt off this week so far, and nothing is changing at all. The scales tell me the same 67.0 every morning. I guess it's frustrating me more because we are heading away on the weekend, and I always come back heavier than when I left, even though it tends to only be food/water retention, it means that i'm likely facing a gain this week.

I wanted to bad to reach 66.5 this week, but it's seeming that that dream is slipping by very quickly :(

Week 56 (5) - Weigh in & Confusing myself

Last Week - 68.2
This Week - 67.1
Loss - 1.1 Kgs

Finally a weekend that I didn't gain a whole heap back!!! I did gain, though only 100grams so that's really neither here nor there to be honest. Kinda a little worried what this week will bring though, whether it will show numbers falling easily or not because I don't have that food weight added. I'm hoping for a 500gram loss this week to take me to 66.5 kgs next week.

As I said in my heading i'm confusing myself with the week numbers. Yes I am on week 56, but since starting again, i'm on week 5's weigh in, so i'll continue to put the "new" week in brackets. I'm finding it easier to get my motivation if I can say I've lost another 4 kgs in 5 weeks, as opposed to 23kgs in over a year, just seems more to me to say it the other way.

I'm very excited about the prospect of seeing a 66 on the scale in the near future. I'm really struggling to comprehend that I have lost nearly 25kgs officially (over 25 unofficially). When I'm talking to someone about my weight, I'm constantly still telling them that I weigh 90 something before i have to correct myself and say 60 something.

Body-wise I struggle. Yes i am a butt-load smaller than I was a year ago, but my shape is still the same. I still have a long way to go before this belly disappears, so i guess when I look at myself, I still feel the same, and that's not real cool.

I had a bit of a 'moment' last week though. I've told you that i've been able to get into my wedding dress before, but last week I tried it on again, and it fit like it did on my wedding day. No 2 people needed to do up the zip, no pulling around the tummy, it just fit perfectly. Now i need to convince myself to go and do a trash the dress session before it gets too big. It's not like anyone else needs to see the pictures right? Be Brave Lauren!

Overcoming a terrible week last week......

There's no denying that I was a little upset after the crappy week I had last week, and the weigh in on Monday. Yes a loss is still a loss, but i hate how the weekends just throw everything out. I really should weigh in on Thursdays or Fridays, but I feel like that is cheating.

It's taken me all week to get back to my lowest weight ever, which was 67.6 last Thursday. Yesterday I weighed in at 67.5 and today down to 67.2. I didn't actually think I was going to lose anything today, so I was surprised to see 300grams drop off the scales.

It's been a hard slog this week, and I haven't felt like the scales have shown just how hard i've worked, but in myself I know I have, and I feel like I am more energetic for it. Despite the fact that I was sick over the weekend, and for the first 3 days this week, I still dragged my butt off the couch and did at least half an hour on the bike. Normally I would wuss out and whinge that being sick was stopping me, but you really do feel better after it.

It's really cold and rainy here today, probably the perfect time to get on the cross trainer. I haven't been on that thing for months, and it may be about time that we became friends again. I just wish that I could have it inside, and not in the bloody hot garage! At 2 meters long though, that isn't gonna happen. You would think that with a 6 bedroom house we would have more than enough room to have a makeshift gym, but no, unfortunately not. ONE DAY!!!!

Week 55 - Weigh In

Last Week - 69.2 Kgs
This Week - 68.2 Kgs
Loss 1 Kg

I know I shouldn't be disappointed in that, but I am. I had a shocking week towards the end of last week, and my eating and exercise suffered because of it. I ended up dropping to 67.6kgs at one point so I've gained 600 grams over the weekend. Totally not cool.

I guess the thing that has got me the most is the fact that I obviously haven't controlled my emotional eating, the thing that got me to my highest in the first place. I had a really really rough day on friday, and all I wanted to do was eat. Devastating.

Trying very very hard to pick myself up, dust myself off and get moving again. Here's to a new week :(

Week 54 - Weigh in

Last Week - 69.4
This Week - 69.2
Loss 200 Grams

I said in the last post that I was expecting to gain over the weekend, but i honestly didn't think that i would gain AN ENTIRE KILO! I know a lot of it is going to be water/food retention but holy cow did it hurt when i read that on the scales this morning, especially after seeing 68.2 on the scales yesterday morning!

Guess that means that I just have to work my butt off this week and hope it goes down nearly as quick as it went back on! I have a few weekends free for the next few weekends, so i'm looking forward to staying at home and just chilling and not having to worry about what anyone else is serving for food.

Keeping myself accountable

My next goal was to reach 88.5kgs, and I reached that this morning. I know I generally go up in weight over the weekend, but hopefully it won't be too bad. I am going to a friends though on Sunday afternoon. Guess we'll just have to wait and see what happens.

Have been doing fairly ok on the exercise front this week. Sticking to my 30 mins on the exercise bike, and have even done 2x 1 hour sessions this week. My legs and knees certainly aren't thanking me for it, but I ended up burning 530 calories last night!

Making my next goal another 500 grams away. I joined up to be part of the 1 million kilo challenge that is being run by channel 10, and had my goal weight as 68kgs, for the finish of the 10 weeks. We are only on week 2, so I think I might have to change that too. Maybe aim for 65kgs?

I finally feel like i'm getting closer to that final goal of 60kgs, and it's been a long time coming.

Lowest weight

So I said yesterday that I wanted to get back to my lowest weight so far which was 68.9, which was my immediate goal. Didn't really think that it would happen a day later, considering how much my body is holding on to fluids at the moment. This morning I weighed in at 68.9 again. I'm feeling pretty chuffed and that I can do this. I'm hoping by next monday I can get to 68.5 or possibly even lower.

I rode the exercise bike for an entire hour last night and burnt 461 calories. Not bad! By god was my butt numb afterwards though!

Bad blogger award goes to me! 12 MONTHS!!!

So the title says it all. I've been a bad blogger. I've had every intention of blogging, but that's as far as it's actually got. The motivation to do anything at all for the 2nd 6 months of my journey was at an all time low. I would get frustrated that the scales weren't moving, but i wasn't actually committed to doing anything to make them move. So no sympathy for me there.

12 months has passed and I officially lost 21kgs in that time. I believe all up though I have lost 24.5 kgs, and that's pretty great. The last 6 months I have been sitting around the 70 kg mark, which was one of my goals, but i'm not happy here. I'd still love to get to 60kgs, but i'm taking it a few kgs at a time. My lowest weight so far has been 68.9, so that's my immediate goal, then 68.5.

2 weeks ago the biggest loser started on tv again. This was my main motivator for me last year, and the thing that kept me going strong. It's been doing the same again for me this year. I have told myself i'm not allowed to watch it, unless i'm on my bike. I HAVE to do my 30 mins while i'm sitting there. They've got it on at 7pm this year, which is a bit of a stuggle with dinner and bedtimes, but i haven't failed yet. I even did 50 minutes the other night while watching it which I think is awesome.

When BL started I weighed 71.1kgs, and i'm now back down to 69.4kgs as of today. I've been watching what I eat, and try very hard not to go over my 1200 calorie limit. There have been 2 days i have gone over, but i don't think that's a bad thing, i need to change it up every now and then. I've had a pretty stressful week, with family stuff happening, and it's obviously stressed me out far greater than I realised. My body has decided it's being girly, and well it's bad. I think nearly as bad as it is after having a baby. my weight has gone up, so i'm not sure whether it's bad eating on Saturday or PMS related because it all happened about the same time. It's coming down again now though, so we'll see i guess. The headaches have been terrible though, as have the tummy cramps.

For the first week of exercising, I must admit that I didn't enjoy it at all. I hated every mintue that I was on that bike, and couldn't wait to finish my 30 mins. Now i'm beginning to enjoy it again. I've got the bike set up in the lounge room, so i'm not being anti-social, and can still chat to the kids and help them get ready for bed etc.

I did look into joining a gym last week, but the financial situation is a bit tough at the moment, so i'm going to have to wait until next week at the earliest I think. It will be good for both Madi and I I think, as she will go to the creche, while i'm working out, and even though she probably won't like it at first, being away from mummy for an hour or so is going to make the transition to school next year that little bit easier.

What else is news.... hmmmmm..... Darren has been diagnosed with gall stones. This scares the absolute crap out of me, seeing as though it was gall stones that nearly took my life a few years ago. It stresses me out to no end, and I hope he can have the operation sooner rather than later. It seems like we are at the hospital at least once a week, for him to get a shot of morphine and a bag of fluids to control the pain, but unless he is violently ill, and running a fever, they won't even consider him for emergency surgery. We are on a waiting list to see the surgeons, to be able to be placed on a waiting list for the actual operation. I'm keeping my fingers crossed that it doesn't take too long, because the stress and not being able to sleep is doing my head in.

I think that's about all the catch up news that I have. Will try my hardest to be a better blogger, and post my weekly weigh ins.